A Brief Visit to Wonderland

“Jeffrey, my boy, sit down.  Join us for tea-time,” invited the White Rabbit amicably, “please allow the seat of the empty chair to rest with your seat.”

The Mad Hatter stood up and pulled a chair from the tea table.

As he was about to sit, the chair spoke up quite audibly, “Hey you,! Aren’t you going to say olleh to me and introduce yourself.  I am a lady and not a one-seat stand, I ain’t no lady chair of the night, you know.”

Shocked, Jeffrey muttered, “I’m Jeffrey and I am pleased to make your acquaintance, dear Lady.  May we join seats for tea?”

The chair replied, “You are such a gentleman.  I would be honored to share seats with you.  You will find me very warm and cozy to merge with.”

Jeffrey sat down and drew the chair to the table commenting, “By golly, new friends, I do swear that this Lady chair gives the best sitting I have ever had.  Thank you, my beautiful Lady.”

Jeffrey could feel his chair grow even warmed and she even purred.

Dormouse said, “Ye gads, pass the man some tea.  The two of them just had a seating, my God. A taken chair without some tea to drink afterwards is outrageous and quite poor manners.”

Alice picked up her own tea cup and placed it before Jeffrey,  The she picked up the tea pot and poured some dark black tea for Jeffrey.  She placed her cup of real cream and turbinado sugar cubes next to her cup.  Jeffrey reached for the sugar pinchers, but Alice placed her very sexy hand on top of his.  In a very sweet voice, Alice said, “Oh, Jeffrey.  In Wonderland, no male or female is allowed to handle his or her own sugar pinchers nor drink from his or her one OWN personal teacup, you must drink from mine and I shall drink from yours. I particularly recommend you allow me to provide some of my very OWN cream and sugar for to mix with the tea in my smooth, pretty, and warm teacup.”

Alice removed her hand and added two cubes of sugar and a full tablespoon of her personal cream to Jeffrey’s tea.  She took Jeffrey’s silver tea spoon between her fingers and stirred with a flourish.  She said, “Sir, when your lips touch where mine have been, the sparks will fly.”

Jeffrey brought Alice’s teacup to his lips and enjoyed a nice sip of Alice’s tea.  A soft whimper escaped from Alice’s lips, as she closed her eyes and fell back into her chair.  Catching her breath, Alice said, “Oh, Jeffery, I have not felt such nice lips since our good friend Tristan enjoyed me.  Be a gentleman and take another sip.  I really need it.  And thanks.”

Dormouse whispered to Jeffrey, “I reckon she needs four sips in a row and she will fall quite asleep and fully satisfied with you.”

Jeffrey took four quick sips and Alice was asleep in her chair with a satisfied smile.

The Cheshire Cat appeared above the table.  “Hey, gents.  I see Ms. Alice had another mystical experience.  I really do think we need to marry her to someone.”  The Cheshire Cat offered his left paw to Jeffrey and introduced himself, “Hello.  I am Cheshire Cat, local genius of Wonderland.  I am sure the pleasure is all yours.”

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