The desert fathers of the first centuries of the common ear taught that soulful weeping brought a seeker closer to the Divine. For blessed are those who mourn.
I have always known that the Holy Spirit was like a coin with two sides, Brother and Sister. As I am male and my anima is female, I long for sacred marriage with the female side of the coin. This is an old poem of mine which is about Ariel the Daughter of God and Sister of Yeshua.
ANGKOR WAT
Luminous, iridescent plankton…
cavorting in the summer surf…
as the great sea…
with its rolling energy pounds the glass sand…
again and again and again.
It’s undulant and violent motion…
exciting, turbulent and frothy…
the plankton…
tiny stars portraying its majesty…
speaking as its heart.
Of my love, my life, my savior…
your rolling energies of tender love…
trumpets of the great sea of wonder within you…
excite the silent and darkened plankton…
of my wounded heart…
pierced through by lances of unfaithful lovers past.
For I was once as royal Angkor Wat…
magnificent and towering lord over green jungle…
full of power and lust and will…
without rival, neither man nor woman…
neither beast nor machine…
neither angel nor devil…
for all bowed in obedience.
To those without knowingness…
I was god…
I was Lord…
I was, “I am that I am.”
But, I knew all was false…
no more than devil’s lies…
for I was no more than a grain of sand…
lost in an infinite sea of sorrow and pain.
Most lovely saint… the life of my heart…
you, the wise one, was not deceived…
nor fell victim to devil’s dark spell.
You found me gravely wounded…
resting uncomfortably upon this unholy ground…
blood and limbs spread haphazardly everywhere.
My ancient heart stabbed through with a cold, steel lance…
my golden hair streaked…
discolored with black ogre blood…
Indra, my sword, lying broken at my side…
I, nearly dead.
You had heard the news of the great battle…
the final battle ordained between good and evil…
the battle to decide the fate of all mankind.
My love, you are more than all of us…
more than good, more than evil…
more than life, more than death…
for you are the One Angel Who Is All…
pure love, pure caring, most Holy Sophia…
colorful spring flowers, life-giving mother’s milk…
the fawn with its mother, the melting snow.
I had not lain with you…
how long? A thousand sad lives.
In my foolishness, in my blindness…
I lost you…
when I was royal Angkor Wat.
Foolishly, I believed that you had forgotten me…
So I fought like a warrior…
a thousand battles…
a thousand lives…
living, dying, I cared not.
Losing the only love I valued…
left me empty in royal Angkor Wat.
But, as if a miracle, you found me…
precious elfin princess,
soul-lover from the beginnings of time…
the one who lived still brightly within your heart.
You found me near death.
Your inner light shone…
pure radiance, pure harmony…
you raised my head…
such tenderness, as a mother to her newborn babe…
you raised my bloody head…
bringing my lips onto a firm nipple…
drink deeply my prince, my only love.
I did not forsake nor forget you…
for this, I cannot do…
I will not do…
for are you not my darling prince, my darling friend…
my mate and husband forever and forever?
Drink of my life…
fed on my blood…
come again into the living…
come back to my bed…
for all will be as if these things that have been…
were swallowed up by Temu, the Great Snake in Nun.
Arise, my dear love…
arise again…
greet my lips with a tongue-flickering kiss…
a sonnet of young, careless love for my ears…
a gaze into the most innermost depths of my being.
For I love you…
my darling prince and always shall…
watching over you for all time.
I awoke and saw my true Love above…
holding my head to her breast so gently…
I who had been as dead was once again alive.
Her dark sensuous eyes telling naught but what is true…
My princess hadn’t forgotten her elfin lover…
nor did she bear anger any within her heart.
I forgot royal Angkor Wat…
the battle of good versus evil was no more…
never again would I be without my princess…
for now, I know…
I am nothing without You…
and everything with You.