Ask the Good Doctor: Manners

Greetings, dear friends.  As I get a number of letters each week asking for my opinion on life events, I have decided to share such with all of you.  Of course, I maintain the strictest confidentiality.


Dear Doctor,

I have a question for you. Yesterday, I went to the coffee shop and found myself behind two young ladies. An older lady around 50 years old took her order before them and saw a free table and sat down.  The waiter told her like there are two ladies who are going to sit here. But, that lady didn’t care at all.  After that, the girls came,  “We’re not going to give you this place because, we booked the table earlier. So, or you leave or give us a place to sit.”  The older woman started to shout and called the manager. But the manager told her that she must get up or make space.

What is your opinion about this situation? Who was wrong and who was not?



Hello Ms Julie,

Your question is most interesting for a number of reasons. Based upon current social arrangements, the two young ladies had full right to the table. The fact that they would share the table with the old lady who was incorrect speaks to their character and the older woman’s lack of character. The manager was correct. I would have done the same when I was younger.

I am impressed that the two young ladies offered to share their table with the older woman–this is very sweet and perhaps they would have learned what ‘hurt’ the lady was suffering so to act as she did. All three lost an important opportunity for spiritual growth for sharing a meal with others is a most special and important psychological activity.  Commensal eating was a big portion of Jesus ministry.

It would have been nice if someone understanding all the dynamics would have been present so to turn lead into gold.

Blessing, my dear, stay awake,

The Good Doctor

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