“Well, generally in Wonderland, we take a sip of tea before we take a bite of a cookie, as it would be utterly preposterous and very bad manners to do it in reverse,” said the Caterpillar, “so the best place to begin is clearly in the beginning.”

Cheshire Cat interrupted Caterpillar saying, “Caterpillar, if I pop into a tea party after it has started, how do I know the guests are actually using proper etiquette?”

Caterpillar thought for a moment, “I imagine we could run the tea party backwards in time. Physics says we can, you know. Then, you could determine which came first, the cookie or the tea.

“But, if we did that, we would have to go forward in time so catch up to where we started. And since I didn’t know the answer in the first place I would have to forget it when I returned. So what would be the purpose, you stoned worm?

“Like I said, students of the Great Rav, one must always start at the beginning, if you are interested ‘in purpose.’ So what is a good definition for this word?”

White Rabbit took a sip of tea so to swallow the cookie, answering, “Gentlemen, the best definitions for the word ‘purpose’ are found in the Wordbook of Wonderland.

Definition (1) something you do to explain your actions when caught with your pants down.
Definition (2) a confabulation given for which anything is done, created, or exists.

Definition (3) a desired or intended end for an action, a goal, or an aim.

Definition (4) God knows why the universe is here and you do not.”

Shakes Hare said, “I like definition (4). It is so very subtle and highbrow. It would make a good movie. Presuming of course, God is.”

Dormouse opening his eyes just a bit, said, “I remember when White Rabbit and Mary Ann got caught without any pants and in a very amorous position in the Red Queen’s Garden just before Tea Time. The Red Queen came upon them, ‘no baby making without a stork license.’”

Both turned tomato red with embarrassment, which pleased the Red Queen very much. “Finish up and come to tea, dearies.” So I guess White Rabbit likes definition (1) for his excuse was because they needed a way to turn a bright red–on purpose so to have the proper complexion for pleasing the queen.

White Rabbit just glared at Dormouse. Shakes Hare said, “You should have seen White Rabbit when he found Mary Ann auditioning on me for the head-actress role in ‘Attack of the Sex-Starved Nuns.’ Now, that was a really good play. Mary Ann has come a long way over the past few years of acting.”

“Keep it clean, March Hare, we have guests remember!” said Cheshire Cat, “but nice innuendos for sure.”

The students turned to Rav looking very confused. Rav just put his right index finger to his lips and smiled.